"Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard and valued - when they can give and receive without judgement."
~ Brene Brown
I've never been great at small talk. It's okay for a little while but I always want to know what makes people tick. What are they about? What makes them smile? What's their go-to pick-me-up when life becomes overwhelming or draining? I guess wanting to connect has always been my thing; I just never knew it.
I was very fortunate when I was younger to be able to travel. To explore the world, practice yoga and meditate on beaches, next to lakes, in the mountains. And it was only until I'd done all of those things, met all of those wonderful people and had the same conversations over and over that I found I was on a quest for connection. The conversations generally went like this:
Traveller: Hi! Where are you from?
Me: England! You?
Traveller: I'm from Germany. Whereabouts have you come from?
Me: Oh, Manali on the overnight bus. You?
Traveller: Oh, awesome! We're heading there next. We came from Delhi on the train.
Me: Okay, cool! You'll really like Manali, super chilled up there in the mountains.
And they generally continued along a similar thread about how long we're staying at a certain hostel, if we'd been to Asia or we preferred Europe and how long we'd both practiced yoga for and swapping recommendations and travel tips. And this is all beautiful! Beautiful connections. But without roots, they were fleeting connections; ones in which I rarely felt 'seen' but just another traveler out in search of something.
And the irony really came when what I was seeking was right where I left it: at home. The exact place that I chose to travel thousands of miles away from.
Connection and belonging was what I wanted. With people who got me. With my friends that I've known for years that were there through all my mad hair styles. With my family that have supported me through every breakdown, one at a time with patience and love. With strangers on a bus who know my Grandma and so instantly we chatted the entire journey away.
Being seen, heard and valued can come from anyone at anytime but hell am I grateful for the ones that have stuck by me. And through daily meditation, introspection, self-development and discipline, I'm learning to understand who I am - without the mask. So that I can find connection with every single soul that I meet. Because one of the greatest lessons I've learnt along this quest for connection, is that we are all the same. We all want to be loved, we all want to avoid suffering, and we are all interconnected. We are all part of something greater than just our individual parts and when I remember that, I never feel alone.
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